One of the most interesting differences between Brazilians and Americans, and one that has lead to a lot of awkward moments for me, is the American concept of "personal bubbles".
Brazilians simply don't have that. When in conversation with my friends, we would always be very close to each other and affection was expressed physically - with kisses on the cheek and hugging being the equivalent to a "hello" or handshake in the U.S. It was never uncommon for my friends to hold hands or link arms.
On the flip side, there have been way to many moments when I would be talking to a friend and they have asked me to step away because of their "personal bubble". It took me awhile to get used to not kissing my friends on the cheek when I saw them and to know people who actually hate hugging (really, who would ever hate hugging?).
After about two and a half years living here, I have to admit that I have developed my own designated personal space. I am now consciously aware of when a friend brushes up against my arm or leg and even hugging has gotten awkward when I hug someone I don't know too well. There are certainly many Americans who are very "touchy-feely", however there is an undeniable collective negativity towards PDA and other types of physical proximity.
Another example of this physical distance is the teacher-student relationship. Here, teachers and students are allowed limited physical contact - like no hugging. I tried hugging a teacher once and he kindly gestured towards a handshake instead (again, awkward). There are reasons for restrictions like this because of weird occasions in which students and teachers have become involved. Even so, in Brazil and other latin cultures, it is not inappropriate within the student-teacher relationship to greet your teacher with a kiss on the cheek or hug them.
I see this physical distance as a demonstration of the individualistic society we lead. In the U.S., the individual triumphs over the group whereas in many other cultures, especially in latin cultures, the group identity is stronger than the individual. There is a certain desire to keep your distance from others in the America - to not get too close for fear of rejection, among other reasons. I wonder if this distance hinders our society from deeper connections or if it keeps a certain societal equilibrium. To each his own personal bubble, but I personally prefer a hug.
Although I have never experienced living in a culture other than the one I was raised in, I can see the differences in physical contact. In America, we feel no need to touch and be affectionate with one another, because we are taught to be independent, with no need for one another. Leaning on, or depending on another person can be viewed as a sign of weakness in this competitive society America has created. And I agree that this could be a hinderence, as we are denying ourselves the connections needed to foster a productive culture.
ReplyDeleteKathleen,
ReplyDeleteCute ending. I would make sure your reader is made briefly aware of your lengthy experience in Brazil.
I think this post could be stronger if you provided a link attesting to this "American bubble" because it certainly varies *within* America, dependent upon social class, time period, and other factors.
You could also ask your readers: what are some *other* reasons that might account for this "bubble"? Think about Mr OC's post on the "high-five".